Ben & Friends

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It was ‘Ben and Friends’ without Ben when around 50 guests crammed into the hall of Lancaster Road church in Enfield for their ‘Christmas dinner.’ on January 8th. Ben had the flu, which was a shame in one way but probably a relief for a young man who gets a bit embarrassed at being given the credit for a decade of light-hearted service to the vulnerable.

It was 10 years ago that young Ben Hardy, five years old at the time, informed his parents that he wanted to do something for homeless people. The something he had in mind was to put on a dinner party, with all the trimmings, at which homeless people would be the honoured guests. His parents, Ken and Sue Hardy were supportive but equally clear that to stage something of the kind would be beyond the three of them. So it was that Ben, at the age of six, found himself standing up in front of a church meeting at Lancaster Road URC, Enfield, to share his vision with 30 adults who, not surprisingly, found it impossible to say no.

The next year was one of frustration. Enfield, on the fringes of London, is not the kind of place where many sleep rough, and though there were more than 200 families registered as homeless they were almost all housed out of sight and out of mind beyond the boundaries of the borough – so where were the guests for the feast to be found? A variety of charities were contacted, with very little result – one even suggested that the church think again since the occasion might attract ‘the kind of people you wouldn’t want to see in a church hall’. Sue Hardy reflects with a wry grin that it was a good job the man who came up with that particular gem was on the other end of a telephone and not within reach.

The breakthrough came when a church and synagogue in a nearby town, who between them ran a drop-in centre for homeless people agreed to publicize the event among those who attended. Ten years ago this month, a group of anxious helpers waited, the meal prepared, to see if anyone would actually take them up their invitation.

aiming high

Ben and Friends is very different from many other community projects serving the homeless and marginalized. It is staged only six times a year but it aims high. Each guest is treated to a four course meal, with waitress service and entertainment laid on.

When I arrive at the church hall around 6.30 on a cold Saturday evening in January it is already half full. The tables are set with cutlery and Christmas decorations, with a Christmas cracker for every guest. Over the course of the evening guests will be served with soup, turkey and all the trimmings, Christmas pudding and mince pies and cheese and biscuits. The will be live entertainment from a group of musicians and everyone will receive the gift of an item of nearly-new clothing from Santa’s grotto. As they leave at the end of the evening, everyone will also receive a ‘goody bag’ consisting of useful items like toiletries plus another little gift like a scarf or gloves.

individual tastes

The logistics of preparing and serving a full meal to hall full of people are daunting but a small army of volunteers seems to take the whole thing in their stride. Amidst the mass catering the individual is not neglected. There seems always time to cater for individual tastes, an alternative is provided for vegetarians and when potential guests turn up late, they are greeted with a smile and a hastily prepared feast – on one occasion, when a small group arrived as the hall was closing, a table was hastily laid, candles lit and an ample supply of fish and chips bought in

Over the years the event has developed a core of guests, though time always takes its toll. Life on the street is seldom as long as life under a roof. Many of the guests have become part of the lives of their hosts and it is always a matter of sadness when the news arrives that age and cold have removed another familiar face. But there are good news stories, too, as regular guests have found the confidence to rebuild their lives. Many of those who sit down at the tables today are not homeless in the strict sense of the word, but they are marginalized and vulnerable – and they clearly treasure the experience of being treated as honoured guests.

One the notable features of Ben and Friends is the way it brings people together. It seems that everyone can identify with its aims and so it attracts support from a wide range of local businesses, schools and figures. On one occasion the local MP stopped by for a photo-call, donned an apron and stayed for the whole evening, mucking in with the other workers. Volunteers for the Christmas dinner were of all ages. Many had come as families, with children and young people playing an active role in preparing and serving food and in providing the live entertainment – indeed if there is one characteristic that distinguishes Ben and Friends from many other projects which seek to serve the homeless in different ways it is the sheer number of young people and children playing a role.

As the evening unwinds, culminating in vote of thanks by, one of the guests, followed by a belting rendition of the olf pop song I believe, it is clear that no-one thinks that that Ben and Friends is the answer to all the problems of homelessness. If anything the contact with so many vulnerable people seems to make organizers and workers more conscious of the problems than complacent because of their good deeds.

an oasis

These bi-monthly meals are, admittedly, only an oasis in the lives of people for whom the world can be a harsh place. Amongst the many forms of service that local churches offer to the homeless and marginalized there might be a temptation to think of offering an occasional festive meal as something lightweight andsuperficial. But anyone who thinks so would be well advised to visit Lancaster Road to join in an evening filled with conversation, laughter and fun. For 10 years Ben and Friends has succeeded in reminding people for whom the world is often a harsh and unforgiving place that they are special.

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