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Ruth White examines the spiritual lives of children and asks what we as a church are doing to help them grow and develop
Parkstone URC in Poole recently hosted a conference entitled The Missing Peace; designed to explore the spirituality of children and particularly how to work with children who were ‘looked after’ (in the care of the local authorities). It was my privilege as the Wessex YCWTDO (Youth and Childrens’ Work Training Development Officer) to be one of the main speakers, with the task of giving a Christian perspective. This, many would argue, turned into my perspective as a practitioner and trainer as the spirituality of children is an ongoing discussion amongst many Christians. This discussion ranges from those who do not hold that children can ‘be spiritual’, to those (like me) who believe that children are probably more spiritually aware than most adults and as such can lead the way on our thinking.
what do we mean by spirituality?
There are many books and articles written about spirituality and they all have different definitions – although ‘spirituality’ itself is a relatively new term. The Oxford Dictionary has difficulty defining it but says ‘refined, sensitive; not concerned with the material.’
I hold with John Fisher and others who say that spirituality is an awareness in four areas or ‘journeys’: Inwards – towards yourself; Outwards – to others; Downwards – to the environment; Upwards – To ‘God’ or a higher being.
As we grow and learn we develop attitudes around these four areas, shaped by our culture, experiences, family beliefs and so on. Spiritual development is about each person as a unique human being with life long potential for growth and development – an ability to learn through reflection on experience about self, others and creation.
The on-going discussion around spirituality is one that is relevant to all children and young people, as spiritual beings. Children are made in the image of God and as such have an innate spirituality. As a church surely we must approach our children’s work from the basis that children are spiritual beings and are spiritually aware. As the YCWTDO in Wessex, it is my intention to help churches to explore and nurture this spirituality, taking the lead from the child. This is a key part of working with children as spirituality can be nurtured and developed or it can be damaged, even abused, leaving the ‘debris of reality’
Children are often more aware of their own spirituality and that of others than we are as adults and the evidence of this can be seen all around if we stop to look and learn. I remember the story that Rosemary Johnston, former Children’s Advocate, tells of her sabbatical visits. She heard of a boy whose mum had died, all the adults involved with this young child were busy discussing and planning the best way to approach the situation with the him, so as to not ‘get it wrong’. His young friend on the other hand simply went to his house and asked ‘what would you like to do today talk or play?’ – a simple story that shows a glimpse of the awesome simplicity of the spiritual awareness of a child.
Kathryn Copsey, Director of the CURBS (Children in URBan Situations) project, sums it up when she says ‘that this recognition [that children are spiritually aware] means we approach children with reverence’ and that it will have an impact on the way we work with our children.
Child psychologist Alice Miller explains that the child has a primary need from the very beginning of their life to be regarded and respected as the person s/he really is at any given time.
what now?
So how does this recognition of a child’s spirituality affect our work? How do we work with those children whom life has ‘outraged’ and who have a disrupted spirituality? Jesus never told us how to work with children or what strategies to put in place for an Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) child or what to say to a teenager at risk of exclusion, instead he told us to simply let the children come and then learn from them, look to them and explore the way they are, become like them. Jesus’ priorities are not about what we can do for children but what we can learn from them to influence our practice.
As we know, relationships are key, for many of the children we work with there is great importance in receiving evidence of our love in safe, appropriate affirming touch. Jesus showed us this, it is essential to many children to have this affirmation, and in the light of increased child protection we must remember that we can do this in a safe way and not be frightened to do so.
We have an opportunity when working with children to help children explore their own spirituality and give shape to it. Faith groups are expected to play a part in the governments Every child matters policy, working towards improving the outcomes for children. Churches can often feel that the spiritual development of children is their territory alone; I believe that this is a mistake. It is not for us alone to consider the spiritual development of children; we do not have a theological right. We need to recognise that there is a dynamic relationship between religion/faith and spirituality, I think about faith being the scaffolding that gives shape to our spirituality, whichever faith that may be.
We need to grasp the opportunities to allow children to explore, ask questions and find the answers. We need to think about the four areas of spiritual awareness in a child, self, others, environment and God; and then ask ourselves what are the spiritual development opportunities of the activities we run?
planning an approach
As with all aspects of our work we consider this in three sections: Needs – of the young people; Strategies – to engage their interest; Ideas – to implement the strategy.
Let’s plan our activities to enable children to explore their spirituality and not see them as empty vessels to be filled by our Christian knowledge. If we truly have a child centred approach to our work, then we will understand that this is about putting a child in our midst, seeing their world from their perspective and allowing this to challenge us as adults and define the way to go with that child.
I once asked someone, how do you know if your spiritual development is over? They answered ‘if you are still alive, it’s not finished’. What a privilege to be able to explore our own spirituality alongside children, joining with them on the spiritual journey, not leading them in it.
Janusz Korczak, the Polish children’s advocate, writer and educator, is quoted as saying: ‘Children are not the people of tomorrow, but are people of today. They have a right to be taken seriously and to be treated with tenderness and respect. They should be allowed to grow into whoever they were meant to be, the unknown person inside each of them is our hope for the future.’
Ruth White is the YCWTDO for Wessex Synod
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